Suikoden Guide to Basic World Saving
by Sparrow Nightrunner
Summary: [III] A collection of humorous short stories about everyday life at Budehuc during the war. Lesson 3: Affix Runes Wisely. Please R&R.
1. Lesson 1: Antitoxin

_Yeah. I know. I'm not very good at humor, but bear with me. The premise (yes, I really do talk like that) is just to delve into what all the other 102 stars were doing while the Flame Champion was out doing great things. Each story will carry into the next._

_Yada yada yada..._

_I do not own Suikoden or any of the characters. If I did, Borus would be on a leash for my snuggling pleasure. _

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**Lesson 1: Carry antitoxin at all times.**

It was just an ordinary trek across Yaza Plain, the six Zexen Knights proving their bravery and valor by destroying all bugs, boars, and axe-wielding bunnies in their path, when…

"Blasted…!"

Borus was the first to react to the cry, adrenaline already up from a recent battle. He whirled around, drawing his sword. "Percival? What is it? I'll tear it limb from limb!"

"Borus," Roland put in mildly as he and Leo paused beside the blonde. "Do you remember _last_ time you said that?"

"Uh… Yeah."

"And how many limbs did it have?"

"Uh… Seventeen."

"Eighteen," Leo added gruffly, "if you count that pincer thing."

Percival glanced around at his fellow knights, apparently forgotten. "Uh, guys?"

"What happened, Perce? I'll tear…"

"Ahem…"

"Whatever!"

Percival nursed his un-gauntleted hand against his chest. "A blasted spider bit me."

"A spider?" Borus sounded incredulous. At Leo's look, Borus raised his sword. "Fine! Let's smash the spider and redeem the honor of Percival's hand!" Borus commenced swinging at the ground with his sword, attempting to catch the elusive arachnid. After a moment, Leo joined in with his even-more-devastating battleaxe.

Turning away from the sight of two full-grown men in full plate-mail swinging at something the size of a… well… a spider, Salome and Roland peered at Percival's hand. Chris and Louis noticed the disturbance among the knights from their place at the front and started to backtrack.

"It appears swollen around the bite mark," Salome remarked, frowning. "We'll need some antitoxin."

Chris moved to stand beside Salome. "Antitoxin?"

"Do we have any?"

Lady Chris exchanged a glance with her young squire, who shifted uncomfortably and said, "We couldn't afford it, milady."

Salome seemed taken aback. "Couldn't afford it? Last I checked, our monetary…"

Lady Chris frowned slightly and waved a hand to cut him off. "Most of it was spent at the smith's at Budehuc. We've got to keep our weapons well-honed, you know."

"Get that spider!"

Salome's eyes grew wide. "But… we had…"

"Guys… I'm not feeling well…" Percival mumbled.

Chris nodded, but didn't give ground. "Well, what else is there to spend it on? Dominic's 'superb' weaponry? Or that boy detective's… services?"

Salome shook his head sadly. "I find it hard to believe we spent so much."

"…I think that…"

Chris watched Borus and Leo idly, a frown creasing her brow. "There was that Watari… fellow."

"One hundred thousandpotch essentially wasted," Roland mumbled.

"…I'm going…"

"That may be it," Salome said, nodding thoughtfully.

Chris looked at him, a smile touching her lips. "If we _do_ need the potch, there are chests everywhere."

"…to faint…"

"Provided we can stand against the monster guarding it," Salome agreed.

"The last treasure monster we fought wasn't the most pleasant," Roland said, coming as close to shuddering as he ever did. "Those bubbles still give me nightmares."

Percival, having become thoroughly ignored, fell over in a faint. Chris, Louis, Salome, and Roland fell silent, abashed at having forgotten his presence.

"DIE, YOU VERMIN!"

> > > >

**Later, at Budehuc Castle…**

Leo and Roland relaxed beside the courtyard fountain.

"It's basic logic, Roland," Leo said, leaning his head back against the fountain rim. "As knights, we must be prepared to act at a moment's notice."

Roland didn't seem to agree. Cross-legged on the grass, he watched Leo lounging. "It's just… This armor is insufferably hot in the summer. Maybe Lady Chris had the right idea that time that she…"

Leo sat bolt upright, reaching for his axe. "We never speak of that!"

"Lighten up, Leo," a mild voice said from the castle entrance. "You're just bitter because Borus got to Salome first."

Leo leaned back again, somewhat grudgingly. The tricky devil _had_ spirited her out of Brass Castle right under their noses. "Feeling better, Perce?"

Percival fiddled with his gauntlets as he moved to sit down beside Roland. "Much. Dr. Tuta had me cured in minutes."

All three knights fell into a companionable silence for a short time before Roland took up the conversation again. "In my youth, I'd never have imagined wearing something so cumbersome to battle."

"Go ahead and change, then." Leo put his arms behind his head and closed his eyes. "You're an archer. No one bloody cares what you wear, anyway."

Roland looked at Percival for help. Percival shrugged helplessly and laid back on the grass.

"Whoa. Careful there, Ironhead."

"Kueeee!"

Percival rolled to avoid the feet of Sergeant Joe and, even worse, Fubar as they made their way toward the castle.

"Heh. Wouldn't want to get trampled by that one," Leo chuckled.

"You're telling me…"

The three fell silent again, until the arrival of Lady Chris and Borus. Lady Chris looked clean and refreshed, while the Swordsman of Rage's face simmered as he mumbled about "soap on the tip of her nose."

Chris paused and looked around at the three knights. "What are you doing?"

The three relaxing knights exchanged glances. "Waiting for you, milady," Percival said, standing up and brushing himself off. The other two followed suit.

After another moment of looking over them, Chris nodded and turned. "Then let's get going. Louis should be somewhere with our horses."

"Here, milady!" Louis came bounding up the steps and gave Chris a bow. "They're all saddled and ready to go."

As the knights headed out, Leo looked around. "What about Salome?"

"I'll show _her_ bloody _soap_ on the bloody _tip_ of her **_bloody nose_**!" Borus answered hotly.

> > > >

**Even Later, on Yaza Plain…**

The knights, minus Salome, trotted their way across the plain, Louis in tow.

In the midst of a ferocious battle between the knights and two peckles, Percival felt a prick on his right cheek. He slapped his cheek with his own gauntleted hand, leaving a nasty mark but utterly destroying the offending spider. He peered at the crushed spider in his gauntleted palm, a feeling of foreboding rising in the pit of his stomach.

"You missed the action, Perce," Borus announced, pulling his horse up beside him. Blinking, he looked closer. "Uh… Did you slap yourself or something?"

"No."

The blonde peered at him. "Percival, you have a huge handprint on your face."

"I…" Percival would have explained, were his face not growing rapidly numb.

"Why the hell would you…"

"Borus!" Leo reprimanded from nearby. "Watch your tongue in the presence of Lady Chris!"

Percival felt an odd tightening in his throat. As if his windpipe were swelling shut, or something…

"Percy slapped himself!" Borus cried incredulously. Turning to Percival, he shook his head slightly. "You must have been having one hell of a daydream to do that to your face and disappoint all those girls!"

Roland drew his horse beside Percival's, eyes narrowed slightly. "He seems to be turning an odd shade of blue. Is that normal?"

"Not usually," Leo mumbled. "Perce, can you breathe?"

Percival fainted over the pommel of his saddle.

"Guess that's a 'no'."

Roland grabbed Percival's mount before it could stray. "Milady Chris! A moment's rest!"

Once again oblivious to her knights' actions behind her, she turned her mount with a look of startlement. "What happened?"

Leo dismounted and hauled Percival off his horse.

"What happened to Percival?"

Chris, Borus, and Roland dismounted as Louis scurried to catch up the reins of all five horses. "I think he's allergic to something," Roland supplied.

"Poison, most likely." Leo said, laying Percival's limp form in the grass. He noted a spot of red on Percival's cheek. "Look here. This looks to be a spider bite."

"Another one?" Borus ran a hand through his hair. "He doesn't seem to have much luck with spiders, does he?"

Chris furrowed her brow in a frown. "I still don't have any antitoxin."

"Then we'll have to suck the poison out," Roland said with a shrug.

"I volunteer Borus," Leo added quickly, a grin cracking across his chiseled features.

"What… HEY!"

"You _are_ best friends, after all."

"No _way _are my lips coming anywhere _near_ Percival's cheek!"

"Either that, or we can aid his breathing," Roland said thoughtfully.

It took a moment for that to sink in. Borus' jaw dropped open as he realized what that would entail. "The _HELL _we can!"

Chris, growing sick of the knights' bickering, knelt beside Percival and, as the other knights looked on in horror, put her lips to the spider bite on Percival's cheek.

"But…" Borus whimpered before he, too, fell over in a faint.

When Chris had finished, she wiped her mouth and looked concernedly toward Borus. "Did he get bitten, too?"

No one answered her for a long five minutes.

> > > >

**Even Later, outside the Budehuc Infirmary…**

"I'll kill him… how _dare _he be nearly kissed by Lady Chris! The nerve!"

"Please, Sir Borus," Dr. Tuta said in a placating tone. "I can't let you in until you've calmed down…"

"I'll KILL him! I'm going to KILL him!"

"That's not exactly something infirmary patients want to hear, you know," Random Zexen NPC #175 said behind him.

Borus whirled and corrected the hapless NPC's misconception. (Impalement on a knight's sword tends to teach a good lesson.)

"Oh dear…" Dr. Tuta sighed.

Meanwhile, Percival sat in his bed in the infirmary, talking to Ernie. "I'm just worried… Next time, I might not make it back."

("I'll KILL him!")

Ernie nodded knowingly, adjusting her glasses. "I think I might have something to help you out."

"Antitoxin?"

"Better. It's a rare artifact, so use it wisely." Ernie reached into her bookbag and pulled out a spray can labeled "Bug-OFF."

"You merely spray it on the spider to kill it instantly."

("I'm CALM, dammit! Now LET ME IN!")

Percival accepted the can as he would a new sword. "Thank you."

Ernie nodded sagely and stood. "It's always a pleasure to share my knowledge. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do in the library. Sir Percival. Miss Mio."

Borus slipped in as Ernie left. Tuta had confiscated his sword, so he seemed at a loss as to what to do.

Finally, he sat down on an empty bed and simmered while Percival looked on, perplexed.

> > > >

**The Next Day.,. Because that day was really long…**

Once again, the knights were crossing the Yaza Plain,as the world was linear and that was the only way out of Budehuc and Iksay.

Percival, having become somewhat reluctant to cross the plain in the first place, rode alongside Chris while the other four knights stared at the back of his head in varying degrees of seething jealousy.

All was going well. The knights fought the bugs, boars, and bunnies, and Percival was quick with his can of Bug-OFF.

Then, while swinging at a hare, Leo's axe smashed into a tree that happened to house a nest of spiders. The tiny arachnids swarmed out of the crack Leo's axe had made, covering it in seconds. From their seats, the knights began swinging their weapons, and their horses stamped and snorted.

Percival kept a guard around Lady Chris, using his can of doom on any spiders that dared to get near her. Borus, ousted from his preferred position at Lady Chris' side, did not protest when a swing of his sword accidentally flicked a spider at the Knight of the Gale. Percival promptly killed the creature in midair, but not without giving Borus the most wicked idea he'd had since, well, ever.

Borus scooped up a portion of the nest with the tip of his broadsword. "Hey, Percy! Over here!" He flicked his wrist and flung the seething mass of spiders at Percival's horse.

Percival backed his horse away and started spraying the air franticly. Borus chuckled and did it again, and several spiders got through to land on the knight's leg. With a very uncharacteristic shriek, Percival clenched his eyes shut and started spraying blindly. It seemed cruel to do it again, but he couldn't help himself. The man deserved it. Borus flicked another two dozen spiders toward Percival, but misjudged and sent them high, toward Percival's face. The other dropped the spray can completely and started brushing franticly.

Astonished by Percival's panicked expression, Borus spent the rest of the battle watching Percival try, and fail, to shake off all the spiders. When Percival fainted, again, he wondered if maybe…just maybe…he'd taken it too far.

"Oh, dear…" Salome shook his head while he considered the mass of bitten flesh that had been Percival.

"I've bought some antitoxin," Chris said hopefully, sheathing her sword.

"I'm not sure that will do it this time. He _is_ severely allergic."

"Will sucking the poison out work?"

"NO!" all four knights cried in unison.

"We'll just get him to Dr. Tuta," Salome said quickly.

"And how!" Borus cried, throwing Percival over his shoulder and mounting his horse. As if he'd let Percival be nearly-_kissed_ again, no matter how allergic he may be! "Come on!"

> > > >

**Budehuc, the Infirmary… Again…**

"Yah!"

"Borus, knock it off!" Leo scolded.

Borus' eyes gleamed as he put away the rubber spider he'd been torturing Percival with. Mio gave him a disapproving look and consulted her clipboard. "Sir Percival, you seem to be developing an irrational fear of spiders."

"Seems pretty rational to me," Roland mumbled.

Percival, his face covered in bandages, nodded acceptingly. "Anything I should do? Say, face up to my fear?"

The nurse looked at him hesitantly. "Actually, the way it's been going, it's probably better if you _don't_."

Percival seemed taken aback. "But… What sort of knight…"

"Seriously, Perce," Leo said. "It's fine. It's not as if you'd be the only one at this castle with a weird quirk. You'd fit right in."

Percival leaned back against the pillows, distress playing across his face. "Oh no… I'm a running gag…"

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_Please R&R. I need to know what people think of my humor. I've already written Lesson 2, but if no one likes this, then there's no point in subjecting you to it a second time around. (Though I swear 2 is better!) Also, ideas for future Lessons are more than welcome._


	2. Lesson 2: Sleep

_... Well. I'm actually surprised. I didn't expect so many goodreviews.O.o __Ah, well. _

_This lesson centers around an often-overlooked character: Juan. He spends so much of his day working with all the nutcases at Budehuc, poor guy, when all he wants is to relax in the sun. Don't worry, our two favorite bishie knights still get a little air time --wink-- Hope I don't disappoint anyone._

_Oh, and if you want to know what Borus was flustered about in the last one, take a look at Chris' and Ayame's bath conversation. It's hilarious. You'll see an itty bitty_ _reference to it in this one. --Evil grin--_

_Oh, and I don't own Suikoden or any of its characters. If I did, Hugo would get more hugs. The boy needs them. Badly.__ **

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Lesson 2: Sleep is vital for good mental health. **_

Budehuc was alive with summer. The sun was shining, the birds were singing. Secondary characters were standing around doing nothing.

Juan was enjoying his usual second early mid-afternoon nap when a shadow fell over him.

Cracking an eye open, he mumbled, "Mind movin'? You're blockin' out my sun."

"Get up! I need to train!" Lilly Pendragon stood over him, hands on her hips.

"Mmm… Get those two guys to do it. Samus and Reed."

"Those two incompetents? _You're_ the Budehuc Bujutsu trainer! Now train me!"

With a sigh, Juan hauled himself to his feet. "Sit and wait."

Lilly took a bench and crossed her legs imperiously. "I'd like to work on my accuracy. I don't have much time, so we'll have to get this done with quickly."

"I'LL SHOW YOU 'SOAP ON THE TIP OF YOUR NOSE'!"

Juan and Lilly glanced up as Ayame came bounding by, and then disappeared into the forest. Seconds later, Sir Borus thundered up, eyes wide with fury. "Which way did she go?"

Lilly stood up and poked her nose in the air. "As if _you_ could stand up against _her_."

Juan yawned widely and pointed in the general direction. "She… disappeared somewhere that way," he explained sleepily.

"Damn it!" Borus thrust his sword into the ground, leaning on it. "Lost her again!"

"Maybe if you didn't shout when you were attacking her…" Lilly scoffed.

"What was that?"

"When you screech like a wet cat, people are bound to notice you barreling down on them."

"I DO NOT SCREECH LIKE A WET CAT!" Borus screeched.

Juan blinked blearily at the Swordsman of Rage. "What'd she do?"

The knight sobered abruptly. "She… why…uh…"

Lilly chortled, earning her a scathing look.

"She… she… SHE TOOK A BATH WITH LADY CHRIS!"

"Is that what the fuss is about?" Queen asked as she and Ace came down the steps. "By the noise, you'd think someone was being tortured."

"Or worse, watching one of Nadir's plays," Ace added. All present shuddered.

Borus left his sword in the ground and started punching the wall of Juan's Bujutsu hut. "No. It's not that. It's just…" (punch) "she… she was… _in the baths_…" (punch) "…with Lady Chris…" (punch punch) "…with _MY_ LADY CHRIS!" (punchpunchpunchpunchpunchpunch)

"Hey! Easy!" Juan cried, dismay waking him fully. "I gotta _live_ in that!"

Lilly stamped her foot. "If it's such a big _deal_, why don't you talk to _Goro_ about it? He shouldn't be letting dangerous characters like that into the baths, anyway."

"Yeah," Ace chuckled. "That Lady Chris is a firecracker, all right."

"WHAT?"

"Hey, I didn't…" Any forthcoming answer was muffled as Borus tackled him, full armor and all.

His hands wrapped around Ace's throat, Borus cried, "DON'T…SPEAK…OF…LADY…CHRIS…THAT...WAY!" making sure to hit Ace's head soundly against the ground with each word.

Queen stepped over the tussling men and faced Juan and Lilly. "We've been looking for Jacques. Have you two seen him?"

Juan shook his head slowly, chewing on his grass sprig. "Nope."

"…Queen…" Ace managed through Borus' stranglehold. "…Little help…?"

Lilly gave Juan a look. "Of course _you_ haven't seen anyone. You rarely even have your eyes open."

Juan shrugged and leaned against the wall, stifling a yawn.

Geddoe and Joker came up the path from the stables.

Joker paused at the fence. "Sir Borus, you might want to drop that. You don't know where it's been."

Borus paused in his ranting to consider it, then dropped Ace into the dirt with a "not worth my time" expression on his face. Taking up his sword, he flourished it with the dignity of a Zexen Knight (Which, at that point, wasn't very much). "If you'll excuse me; I have a ninja to hunt."

Everyone present watched him walk off.

"That guy has some issues," Ace said, rubbing his throat.

Joker leaned up against the fence. "I don't know. I find the rage and rampant brutality rather endearing."

Ace shot him a look. "Good thing Aila wasn't here to freak him out even more."

Queen took a few steps toward where Geddoe was standing, looking out over the water. "Did you find him?"

Geddoe shook his head, throwing them a significant look over his shoulder.

"Let's get going."

The four mercenaries headed off, toward the castle's lower entrance.

"What a bunch of weirdos," Lilly declared. "And look how they follow him around: like puppies, or something. Where are Samus and Reed, anyway? They ought to be worried about me, by now!"

When Juan didn't answer, she whirled at him in a fury, only to find he'd fallen asleep standing up.

Angrily, she kicked him in the ribs, which merely succeeded in making him fall limply to the ground and mumble in his sleep.

"ARGH! Everyone's incompetent but ME!"

>>>>

**Later…**

Juan sleepily considered rolling over; his left side felt thoroughly baked in the blazing sun. He'd rolled halfway over when a shadow fell over him.

"Who is it?" he called sleepily.

"Lazy boy ought to try a bath every now and then."

"Branky! Quiet down!"

Juan yawned and opened his eyes. Mel and that creepy puppet of hers were peering down at him.

"Huh?"

"Oh, hello, Juan. I know you're busy, but…"

"But no amount of beauty sleep could ever fix that face!" the puppet finished.

"Branky! Be nice!"

Juan stood up, rubbing his eyes. "What?"

"And he's a _quick_ one too!" the puppet added sarcastically. "Only the greatest can keep up with a sharp wit like that!"

"I'm sorry, Juan. Branky's a bit… mouthy today."

Juan shrugged. He really didn't see any difference.

"That's why I'd like to train: to work off Branky's extra energy."

Juan blinked blearily at the puppet, who was shaking its head in denial. "I'll tell you who needs to work off some energy: that Kathy chick. WAAAY too perky, if you know what I'm sayin'."

"Branky!"

"Peggi can sharpen that!" Peggi cried from his booth next door. The giant lizard looked thoroughly bored with…not…pounding at hot iron.

"Oh, no! That's okay…"

Without warning, the lizard leapt out of his booth and bounded up to Mel, brandishing a hammer. "Prepare to die, hot iron!"

The puppet hurriedly checked itself over, as if looking for something _to_ sharpen. Peggi dragged poor Mel back to his booth and laid Branky flat on the tabletop.

"Hey, wait a second, you overgrown gecko…!"

Peggi hissed gleefully as he started hammering away at the puppet affixed to Mel's hand.

"Mel… OOF… HELP!"

"Hold on, Branky!"

"It's not sharpened yet!"

"AACK! MURDER…ow…MURDER!"

Kidd, summoned from his usual dungeon cell by the word, came running. "What happened? Who murdered who? Give me details!"

"Someone…YIPES…get this…OUCH…buffoon off me!"

Mel frowned at her puppet. "Maybe if you weren't so mean to everyone, this wouldn't happen!"

"A motive, you say?" Kidd asked, jotting down notes. "And just who is this 'everyone'?"

"Peggi can sharpen it!"

"Let…OOF…GO!"

Kidd, finding no answers forthcoming from those sources, turned to Juan, who was once again fast asleep on the grass. "Ah! An excellent witness!" Poking Juan awake, Kidd commenced a long line of questioning.

Finally convinced that Branky was fully "sharpened," Peggi put his hammer away. "There. When Peggi gets a new hammer, come back to get even sharper!"

"Why…me…" Branky whimpered as Mel scooped the puppet up.

"It's no less than you deserve, Branky, for being so rude," Mel scolded, not the least concerned, now.

"I think I'm…ow…ready for bed… oh, that smarts." Mel nodded at a job well-done and headed back toward the inn.

Kidd, despite the departure of his victim, would not be deterred. "How did it happen? Not talking, eh? Or moving? Maybe you have something to hide!" Kidd grabbed the front of Juan's shirt and began shaking him. "WHY DID YOU KILL THE PUPPET?"

Juan snored softly.

>>>>

**Later…**

Juan was chewing on his sprig idly in his sleep when a shadow fell over him.

"Whaddya want?"

"Yuh huh huh. The Grim Reaper comes while you're sleeping…"

Juan opened his eyes to the sight of Landis looming over him. _That _woke him up as nothing else could.

"You can't escape the Grim Reaper," Landis said, single eye shining maniacally. He fell silent, his face twisted in a grotesque grin.

Juan grew uncharacteristically uncomfortable with the Winger's silence. Glancing around at the empty yard, he mumbled, "Out in the sun, I see."

"It is good to wait… Yuh huh huh."

Juan shifted his sprig of grass in his mouth. "Uh… Wait for what?"

"For the night… It always happens at nightfall…"

Juan glanced apprehensively at Landis and his scythe, and took a couple steps backwards.

Something touched him in the back.

"Yah!" He whirled, raising his fists.

Martha frowned at him. "You put those fists of fury of yours away, Juan."

Juan took a step away from her, starting to apologize. Unfortunately, Landis had followed behind him rather… closely.

"Keep your eyes open for the Grim Reaper…" Landis whispered in Juan's ear, gripping his shoulders.

"YAAAH!" Juan jerked away and put himself against the wall of his hut.

Martha didn't seem to notice Landis, or his creepiness, as she faced Juan. "Is there any truth to what was written in the Budehuc Times this week?"

"What'd it say?" Juan made sure to keep an eye on both people before him.

"That you've been stealing money from the treasury to buy Bujutsu books."

Juan felt vaguely indignant. "I ain't a thief."

"You're right," Martha said after a moment. "That's giving you too much credit."

"Yuh huh huh… They come at night to steal your sooouuuuls…"

"Zip it, Landis," Martha snapped.

After a couples moments of tense silence, Sir Percival emerged from Dominic's armor shop. "Ah. Landis is here. That explains the shouting."

Juan shifted his sprig of grass indignantly. He'd been doing all the 'shouting'.

Martha turned to the Zexen Knight. "Good to see you out and about, Sir Percival. I've heard quite a few nasty stories of your last trip through the Yaza Plain."

Percival nodded in acknowledgement and grinned mildly. "Nothing a little antitoxin and a stay at Dr. Tuta's couldn't fix."

Martha smiled regally and nodded. "I'm pleased to hear it."

"Yuh huh huh… black and deadly… small and poisonous…"

Percival glanced at Landis. "Tell me when the new lottery numbers are coming out. We knights have a pool going on who the next winner will be."

Martha nodded again. "Of course, Sir Percival."

"So many leeeeegs… Clacking pincers oozing with bloooood…"

Percival swallowed, glancing more nervously at Landis. "I'd better be going…"

"They're coming for you in swarms… Yuh huh huh. They'll weave webs while you sleep, trapping you like a fly… Suffocating you…"

"Quit it!"

"They descend and go in for the kill… Kill you while you're sleeping…"

Percival slapped his hands over his ears. "I'm not listening to you!"

"Yuh huh huh… Biting and stinging, they devour your living flesh…"

Shrieking, Percival ran off in the direction of the castle. Landis swooped after him.

"The Grim Reaper will be well pleased tonight…."

Juan and Martha stared after the two while they ran out of sight.

Martha shook her head. "Who would have thought that, when we opened up free trade, we'd get so many oddballs."

Juan just shrugged.

Martha nodded to him before she left. Juan, left alone once again, decided he was in dire need of a nap.

>>>>

**Later…**

No shadow fell over him this time, because it was after sunset and everything was dark. Stretching, Juan stood up and considered turning in. Then again, the cool night air didn't make him drowsy the same way that the sun did.

Juan started trekking along the castle grounds to work off his energy.

He found Jacques sitting on the ledge above the castle's lower entrance.

"You couldn't sleep either, huh?" Juan called around his sprig.

"…"

"Can I join you?"

"…"

Juan shrugged and climbed up to sit beside Jacques. They stared over the water in a companionable silence for a time.

"So, you like the lake, huh?"

Jacques looked at him, then nodded. "There were no large bodies of water, back home."

"Huh."

Again, they lapsed into silence for a time.

"Can I try that?" Jacques' voice asked.

Juan looked at him. "Huh?"

Jacques pointed at the sprig of grass in Juan's mouth.

"Uh… Sure." Juan took out the sprig and wiped off the tip. "There you go."

Jacques took it and transferred it to his mouth before turning back to look out at the water.

Juan shrugged to himself. "Just another day at Budehuc."

Jacques nodded.

* * *

_Author's Notes: Well, there you have it. A day in the life of Juan. I like reactions, good or bad. Flames make me feel all fuzzy inside... So review! And I really mean what I say about wanting suggestions: or else there may not be another update for a while. The Lesson I'm puttering with right now is going nowhere fast. Thank you muchly!_


	3. Lesson 3: Runes

_Warning: rants ahead. Proceed with caution. Or skip them. Really, it's up to you. Beware!_

_Now's the part where I apologize for being slow in updating. I'll give some excuse, such as, 'I've been working on other projects,' or 'the inspiration was slow in coming,' (both true, by the way) and go on to keep on saying how deeply I regret not working on this faster. Which is also true. Does it help that this one's longer? Really? It doesn't? -sigh- The thing to know is: I'm not normally a comedic writer. I'm more prone to spouting drama, angst, and, at best, dark humor. I don't do "funny" very well while punching a clock. But, we'll see what three cans of Diet Coke at 3:00 am do to my funny. Be afraid. Be very afraid._

_A fair warning: I am a subscriber to the theory of Hugo-as-Flame-Champion. This is primarily because, if he's not Flame Champion, he becomes Mr. Afterthought, shunted with whichever Rune the other two don't want, and generally not getting much screentime. I mean, at least Chris and Geddoe have really awesome teams going for them. Without True Fire, Hugo has nothing at all to make you want to use him. --Ducks a hail of vegetables-- It's true and you know- ow! Okay, who threw the jar of pickles?_

_And next, thanks to all those who reviewed! Especially those who gave me suggestions! (Oh, my subtlety knows no bounds…) You all get virtual hugs. Or better yet, I'll steal some virtual cookies from PsychoLeopard! I can do that; we're related. --Evil grin-- _

_And finally, if you notice anything about a certain True Rune, bear with me. I make mistakes sometimes. Well… Most of the time, actually. Anyway, on with the show!_

_I do not own Suikoden or any of its characters. If I did, Landis would just be called "Sid." I mean, really, who do they think they're fooling? _

**

* * *

Lesson 3: Affix Runes Wisely **

It was just before dawn at Budehuc Castle when the skies opened up and it started to rain. By midmorning, Stars and NPCs alike had retreated to the nearest shelter. Castle staff worked diligently to keep the rain from leaking into the various holes throughout the castle, while Sebastian puffed his way from room to room, futilely trying to keep the dogs from tracking mud all over the floor.

It had taken Rico an hour's intensive search of the castle before she could admit to herself that she had fully and thoroughly lost Fred. She couldn't figure out where the Captain of the Maximillian Knights might have gotten to. After all, he wouldn't be foolish enough to go outside in the rain, right?

Rico stumbled to a halt. If there were a reason, Sir Fred most certainly _would_ go tromping out into the rain. Any reason would do it: a lost maiden… a flustered gardener… a slightly-damp kitten…

Suppressing a fond sigh, Rico trotted down the hall to the main entrance. She came upon Mua, who was attempting to drag a drenched Barts through the front door. The farmer tugged and yanked like a trapped animal, crying that his "babies" needed to be properly covered, whatever that meant.

Rico stopped in front of Mua as the knight threw Barts unceremoniously over his shoulder. "Sir Mua, did you see Master Fred out there?"

Mua was too caught up in the fidgeting bishonen to spare her much more than a glance. "Think I saw someone with Futch and Bright down by the stables."

Rico nodded her thanks and ducked through the front door. It shut with a _thunk_, muffling the end of Barts' agonized cry of "MY TOMAT-"

Rico stood in the rain for a moment, looking around. Everything was quiet and still, reminding her of a story she'd once overheard Landis telling. Gathering her courage, she marched her way alone across the yard.

She spotted a black-haired figure standing near the courtyard fountain, and burst into a run. She slowed down when she saw that it wasn't Fred. It was Rody.

And he was standing in the strangest position: back straight, hands extended in front of him so his palms formed a cup to catch the rain. His eyes were fixed intently on his hands. He didn't move at all as Rico approached.

Rico peered into his cupped hands, wondering what he was looking at that was so interesting. But there was only water. She watched him closely, but he was as still as a statue. Finally, she found the courage to ask, "Um… what are you doing?"

"Training."

That was all he said. Rico, growing uncomfortable, started bouncing from foot to foot. "In the rain?"

"It's for a Flowing Rune. I have to keep the water in my hands without leaking any onto the ground."

"Oh." Rico looked back at the water in Rody's hands. "But… you don't have a Flowing Rune…"

Rody nodded sagely. "I need to learn how to use it correctly before I can have one."

"But… I have a Water Rune, and I'm not as good a magician as you."

Rody finally looked at her, eyes widening slightly. "I'm not… I mean… I'm just an apprentice…"

Rico smiled, surprised that he was so flustered by that. "And I'm just a squire, but Master Fred lets me fight by his side all the time."

Rody's hands drooped slightly, letting water stream through his fingers. "Fight by his…" Noticing the water that he'd let fall, his face contorted in a look of utter horror. "Oh NO! The water's LEAKING!" He tightened his hands into a rigid bowl again, eyes once more intent on his hands.

Rico frowned in thought, worry over Fred moving temporarily to the back of her mind. "But that's not how you learn water magic."

"Of course it is. My mistress says so."

Rico shook her head, knowing from experience what a bizarre person Estella could be. She gathered herself and prepared to take matters into her own hands. Grabbing his arm, she led him toward the rune shop. He stumbled after her, still trying to catch rainwater in his palms. "Let's get you a Rune first, _then_ you can train with it."

"Wh-what? But… I can't… My mistress…"

"It's okay. I'm sure she won't mind." After all, Fred was always proud of _her_ when she surprised him with a new skill. She liked that.

With that, the two burst into the Rune shop. It was a mess: boxes stacked haphazardly against the walls and sheets of paper scattered everywhere there was a flat surface. Jeane sat behind the counter, studying something, while Hortez VII rifled through a stack of scrolls on the floor.

"I-I shouldn't be in here! Estella never lets me come in here!" Both shopkeepers looked up at Rody's cries.

Rico tried tugging him away from the door, but he seemed rooted in place. "Why not?"

"The Rune Goblins!"

"The…what?" Rico stopped tugging.

"Rune Goblins! They gather wherever there are too many Runes in one place! Only an experienced spellcaster like Estella stands a chance against them!"

Rico stared at him. Rune Goblins? She'd never heard of them, and Fred had taught her everything he knew about evil monsters.

"Heh heh." Rico looked up at Jeane's low chuckle. The Rune Sage looked, if anything, amused. "I wonder where he might have gotten a notion like that." She seemed to be addressing the other shopkeeper, even though Hortez VII was back to work, apparently forgetting any of them existed.

Rico frowned at Rody. She never liked to see people distressed, and he looked terrified. "Well… Miss Jeane is an experienced spellcaster, too."

Rody blinked, thinking it through.

"Don't worry," Jeane chuckled. "I have plenty of goblin traps in case of an emergency."

Slowly, Rody nodded. He started toward Jeane's desk, hesitantly studying the Runes she had for sale. Rico smiled.

"Don't drip on the scrolls!" Hortez VII shouted suddenly, making Rico jump. She checked around her, making sure there weren't any scrolls nearby.

"I'm not—"

"Some of those are fire scrolls!"

"But-"

"Are you saying I don't know what a fire scroll looks like?"

"I-"

The scrollmaker suddenly stood, gathering a bunch of papers into his arms. "I can't take this sort of abuse! I'll be taking these scrolls into the safety of the back room!"

Before Rico could protest, he'd shouldered his way past her…

…and left straight out the front door.

Rico started after him, stepping out into the rain. "Mister Hortez! Wait!" She watched as he stalked purposely across the yard, the scrolls in his arms getting wetter and wetter. He didn't seem to hear her at all.

Some of these people were so weird…

She jumped as a cry came from inside the rune shop. Thinking something terrible must have happened, she ducked back inside.

Rody was leaning over the counter, a look of delight and awe on his face. "Is that a Pale Gate Rune? A real _Pale Gate?_"

Jeane smiled at him, leaning back. "It certainly is."

Rico stood for a moment, confused. "Did someone cry out?"

"That was me…" Rody admitted bashfully. "It's just… a Pale Gate…"

Rico knew very little about the matters of magic. "Oh."

"Where did you get it?" Rody asked the shopkeeper excitedly.

"The Flame Champion brought it back with him when he returned this morning."

"The Flame Champion's back?" Rico wondered aloud. Hugo had been gone a long time, out recruiting and training. Fred would want to know he'd returned.

"Who do you think it'll go on?" Rody chattered uncharacteristically. "Or did he already tell you? Who will get it?"

Jeane leaned forward, putting an elbow on the counter and managing to show off her ample bosom more than usual. "He simply told me to affix it to the one most capable of wielding it."

"Who is that?"

"Heh heh."

Rico started bouncing from one foot to the other. "I should get going… Master Fred might need me…"

Rody didn't even glance over at her. "You already know who's the strongest in Pale Gate? Why haven't you affixed it yet?"

"I just have to wait for her to come around."

"'Her?' It's my mistress, isn't it?"

"Bye…" Slowly, Rico opened the door to leave.

"Estella's great at _every_ type of magic! It's her; I know it!"

As Rico closed the door behind her, she thought she heard Jeane mutter, "If only…"

> > > >

Fred nodded at a job well-done. Futch sighed, stroking his dragon's glossy—and _dry_—scales. "I simply can't thank you enough, Fred. Bright's just so sensitive to cold showers like this one."

"It's the least I can do. It's my duty as an honorable Knight of Maximillian."

An odd look crossed Futch's face at the last part. He looked about to say something.

"Do y'all have to keep him _here_?" Kathy interrupted. She was slumped against the wall of an adjacent stall. "He's scarin' all the horses."

"It's the only dry place they'll let him into," Futch explained, for the fifth (or was it sixth?) time. "I don't understand why… He's such a sweety…" Futch fell silent, gazing fondly at the dragon.

Fred stood a couple feet from the dragon, damp towel still thrown over his shoulder. He had been accosted by a distressed Futch half an hour ago, and the two had been toweling Bright since. Futch kept repeating something about the dragon's blood being cold…

"Master Fred!" Fred looked up when he heard Rico's voice, and saw his attendant trotting through the stable door. Once she got in front of him, she stopped and panted as if she'd been running.

"Rico! What are you doing out here?"

"I was looking for you. No one else is out in the cold. I need to get you inside before you get sick."

His attendant's concern touched him. "If Futch has no more need of me…" Fred glanced at Futch, who was talking softly to his dragon, by this point.

"No way: not _him_ too!" Kathy's voice cried.

"Yikes!"

"KuEEEEEEEEE!"

"Duck, Master Fred!"

"WATCH OUT!"

**CRASH**

Fred was so caught up in studying Futch that he didn't notice the new arrival until he was flat on his back on the other side of the stable.

"Uh…sorry, Fred." Franz peered down at him somewhat-bashfully from his saddle. "Ruby was in a rush to get out of the rain." Ruby merely buzzed irately.

Rico was quick in giving Fred a hand up and checking him over. He seemed to be in good condition considering he'd just been run over by an insect the size of a bear.

Kathy made an impatient noise. It was so unlike her that all three young men looked at her. "I can't be keepin' a _dragon_ and a _giant bug_ in here at the same time! It ain't gonna work!"

"'_Giant bug_?' What do you mean, '_giant bug?_!'"

"Oh, don't worry," Futch assured her. "Bright and Ruby get along just fine."

"I mean for the horses!"

Futch looked blankly at Kathy as if he couldn't comprehend why she'd be worried about horses when there was a dragon involved.

"Giant _**bug**?_!"

Franz looked genuinely distressed, so Fred said, "She didn't mean it, Franz."

Franz ran a hand through his wet black hair. "You're right… Of course not…" He gave Ruby a pat. "It must be the weather, throwing everyone off."

"So, what are you doing in here?"

The Mantor Trainer still looked distracted. "Same thing as Futch and Bright, probably. The rain's coming down too hard to risk Ruby's wings getting stiff."

Fred nodded. "We've got to look after our charges."

Franz glanced at him. "Of course… But… uh… isn't Rico allowed inside the castle? Why did you bring her out here?"

All seven Stars present were silent for a long moment, eyes trained on Fred.

"I… uh…"

"Master Fred didn't bring me out here," Rico explained. "I came out to get _him_ back inside so he doesn't catch a cold." She gave him a worried glance.

Futch nodded. "That's a good instinct, Rico."

"Just how an attendant should act," Franz agreed.

"Make sure he gets some dry clothes on."

"And maybe get something hot inside him."

"But not too hot…"

"And get the stiffness out of his wings…"

"And dig the mud from between his claws…"

"And make sure there's no ice on his shell…"

Both young men tapered off into silence, looking thoughtfully at their respective beasts, Fred apparently forgotten.

Rico tugged on his arm to get him to follow her out of the stable. She seemed to be laughing quietly, but Fred had no idea why.

She was odd, like that.

> > > >

Rico breathed a sigh of relief when she finally got Fred inside the castle. The tunic under his armor was sopping, and his hair was a matted mess that made him look something like a drowned puppy.

Dripping water onto the entrance tiles, they started for their quarters on the ship. Halfway down the stairs, however, they stumbled across Kidd.

Or, rather, Fred stumbled _over_ Kidd, resulting in a series of crashes as both tumbled noisily to the landing below.

"Master Fred!" Rico sprinted down the steps and knelt beside him. He sat up, groaning and rubbing his head.

"Argh!" Kidd growled. "Now look what you've done! You've ruined my investigation!"

Rico nearly gave Kidd a mean look. "You could have hurt someone, hunched over like that!"

"For your information, I was trying to conduct research on my prime suspect for the Case of the Murdered Puppet!"

"The… what?" Fred asked dazedly, still rubbing his head.

"I've whittled down the clues," Kidd explained excitedly. "It took me all night, but I know who killed Branky!"

…killed _Branky_…?

"Who?" Fred asked.

"Little Viki!"

Rico tried to help Fred stand up. "Master Fred, we have to _go_!"

"Why Little Viki?" Fred seemed to actually be interested.

"Why, she was out with the Flame Champion until he returned this morning! She has the perfect alibi! A little _too_ perfect an alibi, if I say so myself!"

"Wait… The Flame Champion's returned?" Fred stood so abruptly that Rico lost her balance and fell at his feet.

"And what did she do when I asked her about it? Why, she--"

Fred grabbed Kidd by the collar of his blue jacket, peering into his face. "The Flame Champion's back?"

"Well… uh… yeah."

"Where is he?"

"Um… well…"

"You're a detective. I'm asking a question."

"L-last I s-saw him, he w-was in the l-library…"

Fred nodded, dropped Kidd, and bounded back up the stairs without another word.

"He's kind of scary like that," Kidd said offhandedly, writing furiously on his notepad. Rico frowned at him before sprinting after Fred.

She caught up to him just outside the library door. "Master Fred, we shouldn't go in there while we're still so wet…"

"Don't worry so much. It'll only take a minute." With that, Fred pushed his way into the library.

Ace and Eike were conversing over something that looked like a manuscript, while Billy was pressed against one of the bookcases, eavesdropping on the conversation going on behind it.

"I'm sorry, Hugo. I just _can't_ teach you anymore!" Ernie was saying.

"But I'm the _Flame_ Champion! Shouldn't I be able to _consume _the Destroyers with flames by now?"

"It's not that the True Fire Rune isn't powerful… It's just… You're not very good at it."

"But I'm the…"

"I know… But you're just… _so_… _**incompetent**_!"

Billy let out an amused snort.

BANG!

Everyone looked up at the sound of Fred's gauntleted fist connecting with Billy's jaw. Rico looked at the Maximillian Knight in horror. "Eavesdropping is an evil practice," he explained simply.

Hugo and Ernie came around from behind the bookcase. "Oh, it's you, Fred."

"Good morning, Master Hugo."

Ernie adjusted her spectacles and turned back to Hugo. "You know, your mother is good with Fire Magic. Maybe you should lend _her_ your True Rune until we win the war."

"I…" Hugo blinked warily. "True Runes don't work like that."

Rico shivered suddenly as a shadow fell over her. She turned around to see Eike looming over her silently. "I'm sorry. We were just leaving… Master Fred, we really should go…"

Fred shook his head. "I'd like to speak with the Flame Champion first."

He never got the chance. At that moment, four of the five castle dogs burst into the room, Sebastian and Cecile both hot at their heels.

"Ruff ruff!"

"O-Oooo!"

"A-e-i-o-u!"

"Aroooo!"

The ensuing chaos made of the library forced everyone present to evacuate and flee to safer quarters.

> > > >

That afternoon, Fred relaxed on his bed in the quarters he and Rico shared. He'd taken a long hot bath, courtesy of Goro, and had managed to snatch the Flame Champion away from Ceasar long enough to make sure nothing noteworthy had happened in the fight against evil. Now, he stretched out in a clean tunic while Rico cleaned his armor on the floor below him.

"I feel so useless, when they leave me behind like that," Fred sighed.

"I know, Master Fred, but that's only because you don't need as much practice as everyone else."

"You think?"

"You _are_ the Commander of the Maximillian Knights."

He thought that through for a moment. "That makes sense, but… nothing ever happens here. How can I be fighting against the source of all evil when all I do is stand around all day?"

"You're sitting, now, Master Fred."

"Hm… You may be on to something there, Rico…"

There were a few moments of silence. Distantly, Fred thought he heard singing.

Then he heard a voice shouting, "Everyone to arms! Monsters are attacking the castle!"

Fred jumped off his cot, blood racing. "Ah! Evil shows its face at last!"

"That was conveniently timed."

"Huh? Did you say something, Rico?"

"Nothing, Master Fred." She made quick work of fastening the newly-cleaned armor over his tunic.

Once she was done, Fred grabbed his sword and started out onto the deck of the ship. "Come on, everyone! Chief Lucia! Belle! Weapons out! We've got monsters to slay!"

The Karayan gave him a nasty look as she sprinted out of her apartment. It was almost as if she didn't appreciate his words.

Meanwhile, Belle knelt over that odd contraption of hers, banging at it repeatedly. "I would if I could! There's rust in his joints! Stupid weather!"

Confused by her behavior, he decided to leave her to her odd partner. Some people had dependency issues. "Rico, hurry up!"

"I'm coming, Master Fred!" She came bounding up, backpack slung over her shoulders. "Where is the trouble?"

"I suspect we should follow the noise of battle."

Both fell silent as they walked from the ship to the castle, listening.

"Master Fred, I hear… singing."

"Me too…" It was an eerie song, sung by dozens of voices. "They sound like… Sirens!"

With that, he took off toward the castle entrance. The castle itself was packed with villagers, shopkeepers, and support characters, but all capable of fighting had left.

"Wuffy-wuff wuff!"

"…hey!"

CRASH.

Fred crashed to the floor for the third time that day, skiddingacross the slick tiles of the entrance hall. This time, the culprit was a sleepy castle dog.

"Oh dear! This mean man's just stepped on Connie!" Elder Viki squeaked, hands over her mouth.

Fred was an inch from lashing out in frustration at the drowsing dog, but ended up glaring at Viki instead. "Shouldn't you be out fighting?"

"But… Why would I go out to fight when there's so much violence inside?"

"Because you're a spellcaster! All spellcasters should be out defending the castle!"

Rico helped him up from the ground. "Come on, Master Fred." He cast Viki a final glance and then sprinted outside with Rico.

Fred burst out the front door and paused to stare through the rain. At least two hundred Sirens were milling around just outside the castle defenses, singing half the Fire Bringer to sleep.

"The weather must be driving them out of North Cavern," Rico said quietly.

"Why do say that?"

"Well, that's an awful lot for a random encounter, even for someone _really _unlucky."

"I say, who cares _why _they're here! We must extinguish them!" Raising his sword, Fred charged into the midst of the battle.

He proved to be difficult to sing to sleep as he hacked his way through the monsters. Somehow, he ended up fighting beside Sir Leo. The Zexen Knight proved equally hard to lull.

"It seems, Sir Fred," Leo panted between battles, "that your skull is as thick as mine."

"Yeah?" Fred rapped his knuckles against his head, not quite understanding the reference.

Leo just chuckled and went on swinging his axe.

"This isn't working!" One of the Alma Kinan girls shouted. Yuiri: that was her name. "Would someone bust out a True Rune, or something!" And in that inexplicable way that happened during pitched battle, everyone on the battlefield heard.

"Can't!" Geddoe cried from down the field. "I used up my more powerful spells yesterday, and they haven't restored yet"

"Can't!" Someone else shouted. "Chris fell asleep!"

"**LADY CHRIS!**! GET BACK, YOU _WITCHES_!"

"Borus! She's with _Mio_!"

"Can't!" Hugo yelled over Borus' cries. "If I tried, I'd blow up the lot of you!"

"WHAT WAS THAT, BARBARIAN?"

"Not that _certain_ Ironheads wouldn't deserve it for _TORCHING KARAYA VILLAGE!_!"

Suddenly, Rico shouted, "Wait a minute! Who has the Pale Gate Rune?"

"We have a Pale Gate Rune, and I wasn't informed?" Little Viki yelled hotly.

"I don't have it!" Piccolo shouted in a cracked voice.

"I don't either!" Mel huffed.

"I'd _like_ to have one, right now," Joker yelled.

"I don't have it, either!" Alanis yelled. Fred was surprised someone that young would be trusted with magic in the _first _place.

"Nor do I." Estella's voice was almost too low to carry over the battlefield. But not quite, since conversations could be heard from miles off whenever they were in war mode.

"Then where the hell did Jeane _put _that Rune I gave her?"

"Hugo! Language!"

"Sorry, Mom."

Fred was starting to get tired from the fight. "Viki's still inside, you know!"

"WHAT? Jeane _couldn't _be stupid enough to put something like that on _Viki_!"

"I resent that, you Karayan toad!"

"The _other _Viki!"

After a few seconds, Apple came running down the castle steps. "I called for everyspellcaster still in the castle to come out!"

Fred leaned on his sword for a minute to catch his breath. He paused, hearing a low rumbling thunder. Then, when he looked up, the sky was oddly dark, and a gigantic ghost ship was flying through the air toward them.

And it had stopped raining.

What sorcery was this?

"EVERYONE, _DUCK!_!" Joker shouted.

"Quack!"

"NOT YOU, RHETT!"

Fred ducked, mainly because Rico barreled him to the ground.

"What… is this…?" he gasped.

"Empty World," Sir Leo panted nearby. "Pale Gate Rune magic."

The ghost ship began firing great canon blasts over the field, making Fred flinch. When the giant skull at the head of the ship began to glow red in the eyes, Fred decided it was a good idea to cover his head and whimper.

There was a long moment of blinding light, and then it was over. Fred looked up as he became aware of rain once again falling. The battlefield had a newly-scorched look to it, but all the Sirens were gone.

"Ooh! Did you just see Connie's new trick?" Elder Viki's voice came from the direction of the castle. "Do it again, girl!"

As one, all of the Fire Bringer not currently asleep, unconscious, or running in terror looked up at Viki and Connie.

It hadn't been _Viki_ who had cast that spell.

"Wuff wuff!"

"Heh heh," Jeane chuckled, poking her head around the battlements to regard them all. "Perhaps affixing Runes to animals isn't so bad after all. Hugo, bring me that griffon. We'll see if that True Rune of yours will protest to a newer, more competent, and fuzzier bearer."

Rico met Fred's eyes. "I didn't think dogs knew magic," she said quietly.

"Neither did I. Maybe I should scratch Koroku behind the ears more often…"

"I think that would be pretty wise, Master Fred."

"I thought so."

_

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Author's Notes: Forgive me for a certain error in timing. If you noticed it: congrats, you're even more obsessed than I am! If not, don't worry. I won't do it again. I'm only going to say that this fanfic is written under the assumption that **all** 108 Stars have been recruited and are living at Budehuc, including the late ones. I'm sorry and I should be punished, by reading Erk's Adventures, or listening to one of Piccolo's fortunes. I'm just that sorry. _

_Anyway: Review! Review! Now that you've read it, review it! _

_And the best part about the whole thing is that the Connie thing is completely true. The dog could almost match **Sarah** in Pale Gate Magic. That, my friends, is the beauty of Suikoden._


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